I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
What a dumb baby whore.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
