Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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