imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
