how can u be prego again
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
