we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
