so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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