She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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