yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
