Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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