I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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