If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
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Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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