You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
