Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
