I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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