Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
