Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
