I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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