I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
