We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
should my penis look like a turkey
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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