i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Two words: blizzard sex
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
