My hand turned me down
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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