the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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