Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't deserve a penis
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
