I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize