We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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