ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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