I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
