so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
