I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
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As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
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Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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