So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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