There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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