Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize