You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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