haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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