it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
