Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
