Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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