it was like his penis was on wheels.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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