Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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