let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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