two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
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Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
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The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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