she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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