those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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