everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I will pee on everything he values.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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