Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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