i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
