And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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