I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
