Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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