I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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