you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
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