I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
