I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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