You really coming over, don't trick.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
