We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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