hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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