We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
