i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
