I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
