Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
