he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
