I just threw up on my dentist
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
