she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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