Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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