It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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