just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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