I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she woke up with a sticky ear
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
